heartbreak is misspelled. it is raw, it is stupid, and full of disappointment. it is knowing that tomorrow doesn’t matter. that tomorrow is full of promise and also the infinite sadness of knowing that there are no arms to hold you when the night turns to dawn. that cold sadness will haunt you until you find a place, a time, a person who will encapsulate your entirety with their arms, who’ll hold you like there is no tomorrow, like there is no deadline. this is who you lost - full of contradictions, selfish in this self-loathing body, unable to let anyone in past skin-deep. but i opened the door for you this time. you let your self in, one step at a time, past the dusty furniture and old boxes. and now, in the darkness of your backyard, in the silence between airplanes flying overhead, we will deconstruct the brief tangle we made of our bodies, and of our selves. i’ll take this part of you with me - the smile you gave me when i was myself with you, the way your hands traced t